Friday, October 19, 2012

From SAHM to Working Mom - The Big Switch

I had to quit working when I got pregnant with my son because of some complications. After giving birth, me and my husband decided that I'll stay home to take care of the baby. We didn't talk about when will I get back to working and never did he pressure me to work again, besides, I love being with my son 24/7.

The Reveal
Now, here goes the being honest part. Don't get me wrong, I loved being a SAHM, I really did. What I didn't like about it is the monotony of it all. I have been working since I graduated from college and I didn't stop working until I became pregnant. I love the constant challenges at work, the friendships I made, the knowledge that I gained and since I'm being honest, I loved the money that comes in every payday. When I stayed home, I had very little access to the outside world aside from Yahoo Messenger and Facebook. I was tied at home caring for the baby, running a household and I was swamped with all the chores that needed to be done.

I once posted in my family blog, Lifetime of Togetherness, how undomesticated I am. I still am though I'm sure I've improved in some areas. But, I realized I am not an effective parent when I was a SAHM. I've had melt downs, my self esteem went below critical level, I was starting to become unhappy because I felt that I cannot reach my full potential if I stay at home and realistically, my husband and I have big dreams for our family and we cannot reach our goals if only one of us is working.

The Mommy Wars
I was told, when I was still a SAHM, that I was being stupid for not working again, that the baby is not reason enough to stay at home and waste my college degree on. I get uncomfortable silence when I was asked what I do for a living and I answer, "I'm staying home with my son." I think, and I would forever believe so, that being a stay at home mother is the hardest of all jobs. It is not something you could instantly walk out off, there are no sick leaves nor vacation leaves, there are no fixed schedules and a bunch of other stuff. I could go on and on, but ultimately, I think that being a stay at home mom is the most noble and the bravest thing a woman can do.

Now that I'm working again, I still get unwanted comments like - how could I leave my son at home, I am being materialistic for wanting more and worst, I am not a good mother. Those comments are enough to make one furious but I chose not to get affected as much. After months of working again, I realized, I am a better parent to my son.Our time together, during weekends, are most appreciated and guaranteed great moments because we missed each other all week. I am also a better person with fewer melt downs (yes, I still have those once in a while), I am happier, I am contented and my self esteem is back up. I also know for a fact, that I can now give my son a better future - with mine and hubby's income combined, we can now save more for the little boy's education, needs and a few wants.

The Conclusion
Simply, different strokes for different folks -just because being a SAHM works for one means that it'll work for the other and the same goes for being a working mom. Each person is different, with different views, different needs. In my case, being a working mom works for me better than me being a SAHM but does it mean that I am any less of a mother? Most definitely not! Yes, I am not perfect and I have shortcomings. But, who is perfect and who does not have any shortcomings? Nobody.

For now, I will remain a working mother but I am not closing my doors to going back to being a SAHM. If my son needs me back at home then I will quit my job in an instant but until that time comes, I will continue working and build a secure future for him. Besides, my own mother worked full time until I was in fourth year high school yet I turned out okay. My son will be fine because working or not, I am still his mother and I make sure he knows I love him and that what I am doing is not only for myself but for the best of him and our family.

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